Think : Confession time

So, I have a confession to make. Even though I am a Powerlifter and this is what i love to do. I get scared by the big numbers, standing under 100kg preparing to squat I can feel the fear set it.

Pushing my shoulders in to the bar to stand it up it feels heavy, too heavy my mind says and I doubt myself.

But I shouldn’t, what I forget in this moment is this; 100kg is heavy – it’s the weight of a new-born baby elephant or a fully-grown man. I forget that it will always apply pressure to my body because regardless of my body, the effect of gravity on the mass of the bar and plates means it feels weighty.

It is a different kind of heavy, not the type that as you get stronger disappears but the type that will always remain.

Then I stop for a second and I remember I am strong, that just because something feels like a weight upon our shoulders crushing us down doesn’t mean it will. That my body can do this because this is what I train for, that regardless of how strong I am that 100kg is always going to be a gentle reminder digging in my traps reminding me how heavy it is.

Now I could tell you that is a metaphor for life, that even under pressure we must rise, that we are strong but that’s not where I want to go today.

Today is about showing up. Even when you feel like that bar will crush you, or someone half your BW on Instagram has warmed up with your 1 rep max. They all feel the fear they just don’t let it stop them.

Headspace is really important, I have learnt this both in life and in the rack. I trained last week with a spotter who let my fear infect him and I ended up on my ass which in turn fed the fear monster. After giving myself 15 mins to get my act together and a change of spotter I ended up with a clean and easy set.

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